I am tired...我累了。。

Allow me to wallow in my misery for a few days.... ( actually, I am not sure how long.. ) This is a lovely bitter sad song....

説好的幸福呢

作詞：方文山 作曲：周杰倫

妳的回話凌亂著 在這個時刻
我想起噴泉旁的白鴿 甜蜜散落了

情緒莫名的拉扯 我還愛妳呢
而妳斷斷續續唱著歌 假裝沒事了

時間過了 走了 愛情面臨選擇 妳冷了 倦了 我哭了
離開時的不快樂 妳用卡片手寫著 有些愛只給到這 真的痛了

怎麼了 妳累了 說好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不說了 愛淡了 夢遠了
開心與不開心一一細數著 妳再不捨
那些愛過的感覺都太深刻 我都還記得

妳不等了 說好的 幸福呢
我錯了 淚乾了 放手了 後悔了
只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著 要怎麼停呢

妳的回話凌亂著 在這個時刻
我想起噴泉旁的白鴿 甜蜜散落了

情緒莫名的拉扯 我還愛妳呢
而妳斷斷續續唱著歌 假裝沒事了

時間過了 走了 愛情面臨選擇 妳冷了 倦了 我哭了
離開時的不快樂 妳用卡片手寫著 有些愛只給到這 真的痛了

怎麼了 妳累了 說好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不說了 愛淡了 夢遠了
開心與不開心一一細數著 妳再不捨
那些愛過的感覺都太深刻 我都還記得

妳不等了 說好的 幸福呢
我錯了 淚乾了 放手了 後悔了
只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著 要怎麼停呢

怎麼了 妳累了 說好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不說了 愛淡了 夢遠了我都還記得

妳不等了 說好的 幸福呢
我錯了 淚乾了 放手了 後悔了
只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著 要怎麼停呢

pulling at her heart strings

He seemed different these days. He is still the same old person she knows ..but something about him just isn't quite the same. He seems lonelier ..seems older than usual..and tired.

All these made her wanted to reach out and hold on to him..to protect him..to tell him that everything will be okay.

He has been showering some attention towards her. It's the little actions that warms her heart. But she cannot be 'tricked' by all these again. She can't afford to let her guard down.

The consequences are too much to bear.

你想要的
我却不能够给你我全部
我能给的
却又不是你想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束
不要再痛苦
下一次会有更好的情路

(no comments pls for this entry. I wouldn't be approving any. Thanks)

In memeory of Ian

Ian is an acquaintance whom I got to know through Stomp. He was going through with his cancer treatment back then. Sadly he has lost his fight and has been called back home to be with the Lord this morning. He is a cheerful person, never losing hope despite of what he went through.

Condolences to his family and loved ones on his passing.
God bless his kind soul.
Rest in peace Ian

read more on Ian here

"one day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching"

The one with pms cravings

Been craving for sweet and savory stuff these two days . Terrible me gave in to the tiny voice in my head.. :P

hooray ...it's mid week

好累好累

很多人与事往往并非我想象的那么简单

有时是心把眼给蒙蔽了。。 有时是莫人的故意掩饰和装饰， 让自己掉入了陷阱

有些朋友是一辈子的事。。有些朋友却是过眼云烟

是我的一厢情愿呢？又也许是我错误的判断

我放弃了。。。

真心感谢

拒绝做爱情待罪的羔羊

把一个人的温暖转移到另一个的胸膛
让上次犯的错反省出梦想
每个人都是这样享受过提心吊胆
才拒绝做爱情待罪的羔羊

--------------------


have i learn from my previous mistakes?
have i finally see the light?
have i learn how to let it go?

enough of those 'doormat' days...

好无奈

有些事情我无法理解

有些事情我没必要解释

有些事情我不想知道

有些事情我无法掌握

。。。我好无奈。。。

listening to >> 富士山下 Eason Chen

爱哭鬼

你常哭吗？还记不记得你上一次为什么哭呢？
是不是想起了那伤你很深的男孩？
或是在人生的道路遇到了挫折？

小时候的我是个不折不扣的爱哭鬼
最讨厌吃药。。常常因为药的苦涩而哭
可能是被宠坏了吧，大人们看到我哭都会来宏我
长大后的我还是爱掉眼泪。。

女人常把眼泪视为一种‘武器’
男人往往对此武器措手不及
一个不小心就掉入了陷阱。

人因为伤心而哭。。因为快乐而哭
被电影情节触动了哭
被所爱的抛弃而哭
因为莫人的漠不关心而哭。。

儿时可以随时随地哭泣
现在只在没人的时候躲在被窝里哭

其实泪水可以调和心情
可以抒发情绪
偶尔哭一哭吧

★★★★★★★

悠悠

好讨厌这种感觉。。。


一种说不出的颓废感。。
心里闷闷的

某某人又消失了。。
是一件好事吧

眼不见为净。。

restless.. pms..

Was at Vivocity again...met Chrissy for a while. Both of us were hungry so decided to try Carl's Junior. It's Chris' first time eating it. I tried once last yr . We had no idea what to order, in the end, she had a Guacamole double bacon burger and I ate the Portabella mushroom burger *chey..it is the equivalent of BK's mushroom swiss but with MORE mushroom! i like :) * Oh it has jalapeno in it.. spicy! Another of my fav. burger-- Mos burger's Spicy burger has jalapeno too :P Just fyi..gaucamole is a kind of avocado based sauce. Mole means sauce .

*the jalapeno is very spicy!!*

*we had three helpings of the salsa.. *
Pss..can Carl's junior provide plates for the salsa? then i don't have to walk so many times.. the tiny plastic dish is not enough :P

I like this wall!! It's located in Topshop's fitting room :)
I took it while Chris was trying on her clothes hehee.

-------------------

Helena dropped by yesterday night with her mum during our gamelan practice. Haven't seen her since Thomas' birthday :)

Here's a photo of her with her 'nails' .... still as "hiao" as ever haha

listening to: kevin kern..

酸酸的味道

It's friday

似乎没有周末来领的感觉
这是一个平凡乏味的周末。。。
空气弥漫着一股酸酸的味道

Hey..comeon Eileen!!
你应该有个突破～～！！
加油吧！！

愚蠢的你。。

他对你说的一切都是谎言
他的毫不在乎，他的狂妄自大
你仅选择视而不见
你为他付出的所有，不曾要求任何回报
但他是否珍惜呢？

放弃吧。。你会好过些。。

　

模糊，灰色地带

他向我道歉了。当短讯显示在我的手机里，我的心不由自主的停顿了一下。
他竟然和我说对不起! 那是有点不可思议呀。
说真的，我和他。。已有好几天没见面了。。他的心情应该平复了吧。
------------------------

朋友。。不要怪我没把我和他的事告诉你。
只不过，有些事还是处于在模糊，灰色地带。

listening to : 何耀珊- 你的肩膀

Emotional rollarcoaster

Eileen has been thrown on to the emotional rollarcoaster once again!! It is taking her to places she has no wish to revisit!! Scary! Horrifying! She hates every minute of it!

She was in a jovial crazy mood when she met Alicia and Ed for lunch before gamelan practice. Now at 1.34am, she is panicky, surprised.. sad..disappointed..slighty happy ..all emotions jumbled up like rojak!

no..she is not having a breakdown lah..just a relationship sorta crisis. Did someone just shouted ..RELATIONSHIP?!?!

okay ..sit down..don't get so work up. It's really nothing..just something she is
trying to figure out. She decided to let the dust settle after an sms marathon. She is swarmed with thoughts.. the brain drawers are stuffed! They need to reorganize ..relocate..reduce..remove..reject..re -think about all the information that she has been feeding to them. The brain is over work for now..so she need to do something that requires minimal thought process..

--------------------------------

QUIZ Time!

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

Your Emoticon is Grumpy

Maybe you're having a bad day... or maybe something just upset you. Either way, you're definitely seeing red!

What Emoticon Best Represents You Right Now?

Your Quirk Factor: 34%

You have a few little quirks, but you generally blend in well with society. Only those who know you well know how weird you can be.

How Quirky Are You?

okay..enough rubbish. Eileen is gonna shut down for the night.

我累了

你哭了吗，
别伤心。
让我轻轻的拥你在怀中，
察去你所有的伤悲

你累了吗？
来靠在我的身旁　
放心的睡吧。
我会静静的守护你，
陪你入梦乡。





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阴天，心情灰灰的。　
我似乎被困在自己的蓝色框框 里
好想好想抽离这一切。。。。

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